The Grounded Man

Letting go to get your energy back - with Barry Finnegan

• John Douglas

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0:00 | 43:14

What happens when the pressure of business starts affecting your health?

In this episode, John walks with Barry Finnegan, founder of a technology business based in County Meath, to explore what it really means to carry responsibility without letting it consume you. Barry shares how a mild heart attack became a wake-up call to rethink stress, personal responsibility, health, and the way he was holding on to outcomes in business.

Together, they talk about letting go of what you cannot control, staying grounded in gratitude, building a business without losing yourself, and learning to define success from the inside out.


Interested in joining our next Grounded Man Hike? Click here for more: https://www.derunation.com/TGM-Hike 


00:00:42 — Welcome to The Grounded Man Podcast

00:01:20 — Meet Barry Finnegan

00:05:35 — Walking at Lough Crew

00:09:30 — Barry’s Health Wake-Up Call

00:15:30 — Letting Go of the Outcome

00:17:30 — Gratitude and Control

00:20:20 — Talking Through Problems

00:24:00 — Taking Personal Responsibility

00:27:20 — Finding Balance Again

00:30:55 — Defining Success from Within

00:34:10 — Inner Pride and Daily Action

00:40:15 — Advice for Men Under Pressure

00:42:45 — The Grounded Man Hike 



SPEAKER_00

Where were you at kinda before we started working together as you said? Actually Joe, maybe I need to just get a bit of support or change a few things or Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I guess uh to to answer your question, I twelve months ago I just had a heart attack. I had uh I had a uh a mild heart attack, thankfully it was the uh and a big event and it was uh attacked my archery and messed the terminal heart attacks up. I got a stint in uh and it all worked out fine and it was just could give me a a severe jolt and it was from uh it's a combination of stress and uh and um poor choices.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Grounded Man podcast by Deru. I am your host, John Douglas, and founder of Deru. This space is for hardworking men building businesses, carrying responsibility, and providing for the families who feel they should be free of them. You see, the world has changed, and leading through hard work and long hours now limits a man's influence. The new way is mastering the inner game of leadership so you can carry it well, enjoy what you're building and still feel free. Hello, you're very welcome to this episode of the Grounded Man podcast. Myself John Douglas. Um, this is another special episode uh because I'm with uh a great man in business and a great man from Mead, and he's brought me up to uh well actually let let you let him tell me uh tell us where he's brought us up to. Uh, but there's absolutely stunning views here. Apparently, 16 counties uh you can see from the from the top of this place. Um so let's get straight in to the interview. So, Barry, maybe just introduce yourself and uh tell us what you do in business and life and work.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, Barry Finnigan is my name. I was brought up around here Kells, County Mead, Old Hassle in County Mead. Um, I run a business, we set up a business myself with my wife eileen, set up a business in 2018, um, and we manufacture uh a sensor that takes the levels of silos, you know, it transmits the levels of of material in a silo to a user, um, prevents them having to guess what's in it and tells them what's in it, gives them alerts as to the low levels and so on. So we do we mainly work for mills across the world. A lot of mills in Ireland and England use our equipment, and we've recently started to export beyond to Canada and the US. So that's starting to work out pretty good.

SPEAKER_00

Um fantastic. And you were telling me there this morning your first shipment is well, our first really decent volume shipment.

SPEAKER_02

We've shipped a lot of equipment to uh to the states, but we're really we're starting to pack pallets now for the for for America, which is really, you know, it's it's been we've been working on that a long time to try and to try and get the the the North American market broken. So we're we're really proud and pleased about that. Um we're we're we're very lucky to have great investors. Um we're very lucky to have an incredible team that work with us.

SPEAKER_00

How long have you been in business, Barry? And many many people are working with you now.

SPEAKER_02

We've uh 11, 12 people. Um we have been in business since we've set up the business of 2018-19. Right. Um but really uh it took us a few years to get the product uh dialed in, but we've been trading uh a good a good six, seven years now, and we've we've we've we know our trade now and we we understand the markets uh and we have various products that fit different applications. It's it started out with farming, but it's it's very much moved into a milling, a milling product and a miller's product, and cement and dry mortar, and yeah, there's lots of applications where it now it it it really does save, it enhances safety, uh inventory management, and so on. So there's a lot of a lot of reasons to use it if you're if you're manually checking for material in in silos of any sort, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's kind of disrupting the market, I suppose, in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_02

Our competitors would be Siemens and um Henderson Houser and a lot of big old, big German billion dollar companies. Uh so we're as you say, we're disrupting it because we're new to the market, but our technology is new. So we're able to do we're we're able to uh be a lot more um lean in terms of how we've designed the product. So our products are much more uh effective and efficient. And then the cloud, the cloud and cloud computing has allowed us to do uh to implement um functionality that was previously unavailable, and we've also now started to use AI for for applications in the milling industry. That's oh wow, that's a world force. We've yeah, we're the first to market in a certain uh in in the particular bin dipping. Uh, you know, um the automation of bin dipping and the enhancement of security and and and and so on. So we've we've been lucky to we're in the market, we're listening to the customers, we're doing what's what we feel the customer wants. Yeah. Um and that's that's really I think the difference between us and bigger companies is that we're able we're nimble and we're not afraid to get our hands dirty and climb silos and talk to people in who have the problem.

SPEAKER_00

Wish are anyway, Barry. Tell us where we are this morning. Where have you brought us?

SPEAKER_02

Okay, we're at the Lochrucairns, it's called Shlev Makaya, the the the hill of the witches. Um, and it's it's a it's a historic site. It's built before the pyramids um for rifts of tomb, but it's also uh um an indicator of the equinox. It's a very nice place, it's a spiritual place for lots of people to come. Lots and lots of people come here. It's very open and free.

SPEAKER_00

And so we walked up here this morning, Barry, but you normally you normally don't walk up here. What's your usual method?

SPEAKER_02

I took up this thing uh a while ago, a few five or six years ago of paramotoring flying. So I usually sometimes fly in here and we're able to uh fly and land outside the the perimeter here. It's not the ground where you can safely land, and um it's a it's a it's an incredible feeling to be able to just drop down here and uh have a cup of coffee and then take off and go home and get on about your day. But um that's that's a very big privilege I have, and a very, very I I treasure it. It's it's some of the most amazing times I've had have been flying in and around these parts, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Fantastic. So, Barry, tell us a little bit, I suppose, about how the business has been running the business for you personally over the last whatever six-seven years, as you mentioned.

SPEAKER_02

In development of a business, you need a full gamble of skill sets. So uh the the best, you know, obviously uh my wife being uh an accountant and Eileen been um she's been obviously the the sensible uh person in the business and she's hugely skillful, although she would say that herself if she's hugely skillful in interacting with all the professions.

SPEAKER_00

Um you get the brownie points for that anyway. Well I know, I know, it's it's the truth as well. You've you said it before.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, she's she's she's able she's able to talk to the investors talk and she's she's really uh excellent at dealing with everything financial but but also legal and patents and so on. Um to it's what I do is just quite functional and and and pragmatic. What she does uh keeps keeps the show on the road uh and and in in real terms because the business couldn't operate without uh investors uh couldn't operate without you know the the financial piece being done correctly and she really does she does that and keeps it training. So uh we've uh we've we've we've a great team behind us, we've great sales guys. Uh we've a good you know, we've really good team who who understand what we do because what we do is is so unique in terms of uh our laser and getting our laser levels back to the side and and then trying to turn that into a tonnage. So we have a huge piece online and our cloud piece is very unique to ourselves. Uh and we've developed it and invested in it over the last year. So it's it's it's trying to so my job is trying to figure out what's the biggest problem at the moment and and and dealing with it or the biggest opportunity and dealing with the largest opportunities in front of us. Yeah. Uh while not getting smothered in the in the day-to-day issues, which can take up uh all of your time if you allow them to, you know. So you've got to really focus on uh on the tomorrow stuff to get to you know and and trust that the team will will uh just everyone will do do their own job and and and and make it happen. And they and they do, you know, everyone is is very focused. So we're we're very lucky to have a team who are so clued in, so skillful, but yet again so dedicated to this to this uh business.

SPEAKER_00

And we started working together. Kind of what position were you at then? Like that, you know, you're obviously you run the business, it's been successful, it's been growing, you're something new, you brought it from the ground up. But for you personally, like were you kind of a feeling at the top of your game? Were you were like where where were you at kind of before we started working together? As you said, actually, Joe, maybe I need to just get a bit of support or change a few things or yeah, I guess uh to to answer your question, I 12 months ago I just had a heart attack.

SPEAKER_02

I had a I had a a mild heart attack. Thankfully it was a big event and it was a it's a a type of my artery and missed the determined heart attack, so I got a stint in uh and it all worked out fine and it was just could give me a severe jolt than it was from uh combination of stress and uh and um poor choices. So it was uh definitely a wake-up call. Um so the the circular business no matter how no matter how big or small your business is, uh I think once you once you have learned to carry a load uh and learn to do deal with stuff in certain ways, doesn't matter how big or small it is, you'll always do that. So I had to relearn how to parry that load to have to allow myself to uh let go of a lot of stuff that I could control. I think that's that's uh what I've learned in the last year of that it and that I sang up to it. It's been uh immense benefit to me uh in under allowing me to understand what I can change, what I can control and what I can't. And that's been that's been great. So people have that built in. I I I meet people every day who get that and who understand it. Not in business necessarily, but in life. I really admire them. And they lie themselves too. Let the universe do whatever it needs to do, probably things they can't.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And so apart from your obviously your own health that that was affected at the time, was it was there anything else I suppose um being affected by by the stress or the pressure or carrying it the way you were carrying it?

SPEAKER_02

The negative energy that comes in inevitably from pressure uh can drain you of of the passion, it could drain you ambitioning. It could drain you with critical energy. And as you get older, you need as much positivity and as much energy as you can. Nothing gets done uh without um without without other people. Yeah. And unless I have the energy and the the drive to to to show the way, you know, there's nobody going to want to work in an environment where uh they don't see the reason. They don't see the the me first, so I have to create that. I have to create that uh at least every day. So well uh so to answer your question the the energy has to be positive, yes. And and uh uh if it's not find yourself being protective and curling up and uh running away from top decisions very much. Uh and safe board he goes a bit before you all together.

SPEAKER_00

What kind of things were causing the pressure, Barry? Like you mentioned different things that might have caused it.

SPEAKER_02

What for you personally do you feel the most pressure came from I guess the uh it's you know making stuff I find I from naturally to me is is making solving problems uh technical problems because when you have a technical problem there's always a technical solution. You just have to think broad enough, hard enough about it. But one of the one of the big challenges of business is is you know obviously finding customers. Just getting the FaceTime with the relevant people. We we we pretty it's a pretty easy sell actually when you get to the right person. Uh you talk to Bright is who climbs 20 and 30 meter steps every day and dips pins and and so on. Uh he he's he's he's all ears when it comes to something that automates that, as it should be. But uh getting telling your story to that person, finding that person and getting your message across was the part that we struggled with. Uh, from honest, it's it's it's still a big challenge, but we're we're well established now and we have a great network and our thankfully our customers are selling it to each other. There's a network there that's word of mouth, word of mouth, and it's it's starting to work that way. The phone is ringing now. Yeah. But uh to get there from zero has been probably yeah, the toughest journey ever. Uh because of the because of the fact that we were doing something new. So it's it's really starting really, but uh it's starting to add up and starting to make sense um commercially, you know. So it's it's it's it's it's good to see people and the market knows our product and it knows what it does, and it knows that it's probably the best value uh out there.

SPEAKER_00

So a lot of it was around getting the sales in, meeting those targets. You mentioned investors and things like that before as well. So a lot of it was coming probably your own pressure putting on yourself to kind of show that this is gonna work and and uh prove it to the market that it is the best product basically. Um how have you kind of changed how you carry that now? Like what's what's some of the things that maybe you've changed over the last nine, ten months um to I suppose carry it lighter, carry it better, like still still, I suppose, hit those targets, but not put yourself maybe under the same pressure as you might have done in the past.

SPEAKER_02

I guess the big one has to be the the the fact that you you've got to let it go. Uh the the biggest the biggest challenge is letting it go. So you do your best, you put your pitch forward. If the people want to move forward with you, leave the door open. Um if they don't, you don't. You don't wait on any particular customer, you don't dwell on it, uh, you do your pitch, uh, if you get your audience, and invariably what actually happens is they'll the phone will ring on a wet Tuesday morning, six months from then, and you'll say, you know, they have uh they've just had an outage or somebody's fallen or somebody slipped during the manual check, and they'll say, It's time to do that. You've long forgotten them at this stage. Yeah, done your follow-up. But I guess one of the things is waiting, is it in your head, mentally, mentally preparing yourself for that sale before you have a purchase order. It's a that's a tough one. So that's that doesn't happen anymore. We we do our best, uh, we'll we'll give um a potential customer as much attention as as we can, and then we let it go, we move on to the next one. Yeah, we we go and we're we're immediately in next selling mode. Um were you always able to do that? No, there was there was times you'd meet big opportunities and you would uh dwell on the fact that you'd wait for the phone to ring, which is a disaster. And that was a that was a big source of stress, you know. What if, what if. Um you know, so the reality is you you've got to let it go and you've got to move on, and if it happens, it happens.

SPEAKER_00

So you you what difference does that actually make during your week? What do you like? You mentioned energy a lot there. Does it affect your energy at all, being able to let go?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, letting go is the single biggest uh letting go of any issue you have because you the unless you can control it, you can control your thoughts, you can control maybe your exercise, you control your body for some of the stuff you do. Yeah, other than that, um you can control nothing in this world, you can't control other people, their thoughts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh so that you start to think about it, you don't have much that you can't control. No, and and and and so why are we holding on to so much?

SPEAKER_02

No, and and you you're very lucky, like you you know, one of the things you fill your mind with is gratitude for your heartbeat. You're able to get up, you're able to walk and talk, and you're able to you know so the all the things we can do. So I guess this this um this experience has taught me that you you've got to really be grateful for what you have and what you don't have is is not your fault that you don't have it. It's not your problem. And if it comes along great and if it doesn't, yeah, that's fine. But uh if you keep chasing the right things, uh that that that'll come across too if if if it's that it changes your spirit a little bit. Uh and and these things tend to come to you when you don't look so hard. When it's you're not gripping to them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and if you just holding on too tight.

SPEAKER_02

No, I think it's it's it's it's a lesson, and it's uh it's something it's a it's a daily thing, it's not something that you just get. This is something you work on every day and you go it's a practice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's it's like going to the gym, isn't it? It's you go to the gym, you know, if you go once, it's not going to have much benefit. But if you if you make it consistent every week for a year, yeah, you're going to start to see something.

SPEAKER_02

And and it requires a bit of and sometimes you lose you you lose track, and sometimes you do fall into the you know and and it is great when when something comes your way and you you you celebrate the wins, uh definitely.

SPEAKER_00

And what is most of that effort on a daily basis to kind of keep your mind right now from your point of view?

SPEAKER_02

We're we're we're always focusing on our current customers. So one one of the big things is that your current customers could be your biggest sales, your best sales channels. Yeah. Uh we we we do our very best to provide the best possible service we can to every customer, be they big, small. We have hundreds and hundreds of customers all over the world. So we will focus when we're not uh selling. We're you know, we're actually we're always selling because we're we can just look up our our our uh every silo we have in our estate. We look up thousands of silos every day and we say, Well, is it right? And is it as good as it can be? And if it's not, we do what we can to make it good. We make that call and say, Why is why is the power off or why you know so um and and they see that they they see that we're not just a a transactional company that's looking for a quick hit. We we're we're we're there trying to keep our our equipment online. Yeah, we replace our equipment free of charge if the hardware fails, we never charge twice a piece of equipment if it's if it's an issue with our our our kit.

SPEAKER_00

But just getting back to that piece about keeping the mind right and being able to, you know, because obviously a hundred things come up in a day that you could hold on to or you could let them go.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh what how do you kind of remain intentional or how are you aware of that? Like what you you said it was a kind of a practice, like what what is that for you?

SPEAKER_02

What like how do you catch yourself or so this this stuff that goes wrong all the time? But what what I find uh really works when when stuff goes wrong is you you put you get you don't deal with it on your own anymore. You know, I I I would have said I'll fix this. Uh no, we have a team there, and we'll sit down and we'll talk about it and we'll discuss it, and then we'll call, we'll most likely call talk to the people uh who who know where the problem is, and it's incredible. Emails and WhatsApps and all this, you talk to people. If you talk to people, even your own team or the person who has the problem, yeah, um, it's immediately halved, uh, and you immediately um see that human to human is is an incredible uh power or this incredible power when you actually talk to people in the future.

SPEAKER_00

We kind of forget that sometimes, don't we? We will because we're we have so much technology around us and distraction, probably.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and there's a there's a there's a there's a a protection mechanism within us to to sort of protect ourselves and run for the hills. But you've got it, you've got to, if you man up and go at it, uh it turns out that you can turn actually this problem into an opportunity in some cases. Um as we have seen so many terrible, yeah. You know, so it's it's a it's a it's the these problems happen. Uh everything, you know, can but there's nothing really, you know, in business you can't fix in some shape or form. Yeah, yeah. Or make it better. Make it better, but you you it it takes that energy you need, that that positive energy you need from from filling your head with gratitude and understanding that you're actually one of the one of the luckiest people on the planet. Uh to you know. Remind yourself. Remind yourself of that. People and me, everyone forgets that from time to time. It's it's it's uh it's really important to understand how how privileged we are.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah. And so uh you're right though. It doesn't matter how much you do it, you still have to keep doing it. Because it's or else you drift back you drift back, you know, there's probably maybe even times over the last uh nine or ten months we've been working together. Have you noticed any times maybe you have slipped back, even though you're maybe you're on you're building good momentum in your in your own energy in your headspace, um, and then you kind of slip you slip back and you had to kind of pick yourself back up again. Of course, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

There's there's been times when when uh you've you've forgotten you're you know you're so far in uh in the thick of it that you're you're you're really lost in in a particular issue or you know some really really big opportunity has come along. And the bigger the opportunity, the more tendency you have to wish. And that's that's where the wheels fall off. When you're when you're when you're living on hope and wishes, uh you're you're it's it's it's a tricky one. So you've got to you've got to take the opportunity, um, do your best to do to do everything that comes along and uh start working on the next one. Yeah, and and if you know that's that's really that's really important. I think the you know we've had some really great opportunities, and thankfully some of them have landed, but uh the that's when I slip the mode.

SPEAKER_00

The furthest is when when we we we we see what could be uh and we start living what could be uh rather before it happens, you know, and um just gotta do it's kind of hanging your hanging your success on something else happening in the future rather than actually how are the customers today kind of thing. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, really gotta keep an eye on where you are today and and and and and mind what you have. Yeah, uh the rest will will come if you if your energy, you know, yeah, if you keep it keep your mind right. Very good.

SPEAKER_00

Uh Barry, we were talking a few weeks ago and we're talking about personal responsibility. What what is your understanding of personal responsibility or what do you what do you make of it?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I suppose during my medical piece what I I I you know there was a lot of uh a lot of times I interacted with medical professionals and doctors and nurses and so on. And you know, those they were they were quite functional and prescribing medicines. It kind of came to me uh, you know, instead of maybe looking at uh I'd never been in a hospital, never stayed in a hospital, I'd never been uh in any type of medical situation. And uh no one really asked about the cause, they all just wanted to diagnose more tablets and and so on. And I I uh I started searching for the cause of my my medical position, and I'm you know, I I put it under stress and maybe the bet not the best um choices, you know, and diet and so on, although I I'm very well doctor, I probably choose to eat the wrong stuff. Uh but in any event, um none of them I'll take care, that's not right. So I I ISIS, I I got to take responsibility here. So I'm it was the first time I'd ever made a country's choice to say where I've got to look after myself and go to book my own uh checkups and I'm going to eat better and uh do all this stuff, but none of the none of the people that you think who who seem to ask and seem to ask about what you do. There was no you should go for a walk or you should go for a swim or you should find an enhancer exercise or anything like that. It was just here's more tablets, this is the way you are, and here's what you do, here's what you take when you are the way, you know, here's more blood pressure tablets. So that day I I was diagnosed blood pressure tablets, I said, Well here, I'm gonna go for a walk. You know, I'm gonna try and take up walking twice a day. And they have, and the blood pressure has improved rapidly, but um so I I just noticed that unless I had taken that responsibility, now it it makes sense, it's like the elephant in the room, it's very sensible. Everyone should be responsible for their own health. But it did it it did dawn on me that some people think it's somebody else's uh fault or somebody else's um responsibility. Yeah. Your own health and your own well-being is your responsibility, even you know, what's in your head is your responsibility, yeah. Your own energy is your responsibility. Uh and to to do whatever it takes to make them as positive and as uh abundant as possible is your responsibility. And that's maybe something that I didn't that wasn't apparent to me before or wasn't uh uh obvious.

SPEAKER_00

I what what does that actually mean then for you in terms of practically every week? What does that personal responsibility what personal responsibility actually mean?

SPEAKER_02

Uh it means getting the balance right. You know, it means not like working hour 60, 70 hours a week every week, or it means uh trying to interact with people and talk to people and do stuff outside work. That means uh trying to it means managing your diet, it means man getting some exercise stuff. That means getting up earlier uh if you have to to to fit these things into your day. So it has a it has a real I we're surrounded with people who lots of people have it built in and some of us some people need reminded of it um that that's your job. It's your job to keep you right. Yeah, no one and no one else's job. No one else's to make you happy.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh I I I think the world has lost a little bit of that logic. Uh it's government's fault because it's raining or something. You know, it's not the government.

SPEAKER_00

It's very hard to take that personal responsibility, I suppose, without the self-awareness, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

To to be aware of it, yes, to be, to be, to have that to have that realization. Uh I I can't blame anyone for what's in my head, my thoughts and mind. Yeah. I can't blame anyone for if I'm if I and you know I'm not as healthy as it could be. There's a way of doing that, it's not. It's not easy. It's like a marathon, it's not easy. But it is simple. But one for the other and keep going. Um but it's I I get it, it's not easy. Uh but you have you have the capacity inside you to to change the really, really, really most important things with her are your your thoughts and your your state to like to allow yourself to do it. Um and I'm not saying I'm doing it, I'm saying I'm a great success at it. I'm saying at least and and very grateful to have the um the open-mindedness. Uh and we're living in a different world now than maybe our parents, and uh it wouldn't have been it was regarded as a they were different times.

SPEAKER_00

What do you think growing up in those times, or even your parents growing up and when they grew up in, what do you think was kind of passed on to you about work and business and that kind of thing?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I suppose it was important to to be seen to work hard. What what you were being seen to be and be doing and being seen to be doing uh was was nearly more important than what you were doing. But the what everyone else thought. And and the thoughts everyone else had about you were more important than what you thought about you. And that's that's wrong. Uh that's that's entirely wrong, and and what's upside down. Um but that was that was indoctrinated into into then them those generations by by um forces beyond their control too. So yeah, it's no one's fault, it's just the way it evolved. Yeah, exactly. We're living in a very free world, free thinking world. Yeah. And with that comes comes uh super opportunities for for people to just go.

SPEAKER_00

What kind of growth do you get from kind of taking that personal responsibility? And maybe another way of asking that is what's changed in the last nine months in in maybe in more the line of work and business, what's changed for you?

SPEAKER_02

I guess the realization I've I've realized that the only inhibitors in my world are me. Um the only the only restrictions on my on on my possibilities are in my own head. Uh the you know I'm that's that's been a real station. That's been a different to a great degree. Uh if you sit around and look and talk to people, maybe uh you know you'll you'll be told precisely society will tell you where you're supposed to be. And they'll add up who you're from and where you are and what your socioeconomic and they'll put you in a box very quickly. I mean, even if you don't ask, they'll still put you in the box. However, if you decide to uh explore your own options and allow yourself uh to to think about where you'd like to be and where you'd like to what your direction should be.

SPEAKER_00

So that's kind of like we need to define what success is for us without kind of just borrowing it from somebody else.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Yes, we think we have to decide whether uh it's a marketing ad for some perfume has decided what success looks like or is it actually what would I like to do is my definition of success is having eleven chickens and a bag of turf by the fire on a windy day. Yeah. You know, uh a collie dog, is that my version of what I want? Or is it a a Lamborghini in a blonde? I you know it's it doesn't matter, but the the trick is to figure out what truly it is success looks like in your own from within.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you've designed success to become more aware of what success is for you. So how has that shaped your week differently? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I guess uh one of the things that I I I I as I get older and as I sort of go on this journal further, it's um seeing other people's happiness and reaction. I I I I I get a great kick out of it, seeing other people get what they want, or if they like get to the next stage. Um even even sales in our business doesn't just make me happy. This guy's building, you know, some of our people are our our my colleagues are building houses and having children, and they're no, I I I get a great kick out as knowing that we are a part that that journey that we've we've uh we've been able to add to that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The more like my like that's the type of thing you look back on in the in years to come rather than the targets and the numbers.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, my kids are out interrailing now, one of them is interrailing, sending pictures back every day, and I I glean an awful lot of satisfaction and and and I I I feel as if I'm doing it again for the second time through her. She's seeing cities and things for the first time, and I'm I'm going uh I'm saying isn't it brilliant to have been able to to be part of her journey? Yeah. She's now sharing that with us and her the joy she brings. So an awful lot of us living through other people. I've I'm and I s I I I'm not the best at it. I'm a very self-centered, I've traditionally been a self-centered person. So allowing myself to open up to that idea is only new for me. And this journey has helped me with that more so than anything. It's always been about me. It's the more I go, the less and less I lean, you know, from myself. It's more about uh I I get such a kick out of other people's um other people's adventure and their joy and their successes and so on.

SPEAKER_00

Well, one last question, Barry, you as well, you mentioned there lately about pride and not like the outer pride, you know, the ego pride, but actually an inner pride in kind of in yourself that maybe you felt allowed yourself to maybe feel that pride inside. Again, I think a lot of it came from going out taking personal responsibility with the walking and things like that, and sticking to that and improving your health that way. But tell me more about I suppose the you know what what are you most proud of about yourself over the last nine months, uh, or well, maybe over beyond that, but just even in terms of the changes that you made over over the last while.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I guess this been as you know, there's there's a lot of people who spend a lot of time beating themselves up as I would have um why didn't why didn't I achieve this? Why didn't we why aren't we getting there, or why aren't our targets, why aren't we hitting those numbers? So there's a uh me included, a lot of time being spent um questioning and and and commenting to it in your own head about why why isn't it like this? Um the the the first part that uh allowing yourself to achieve I think is a little let go. So it's it comes in sequence of parts going let go and saying don't don't beat yourself up, you're trying, you're trying, it's you're trying to uh and if it comes, comes. So that's the first part. The second part was to say, well, identifying what you can control, and then as you're doing it, and then in in in in that piece, the walking has has three benefits, but I thought it only had two. I thought it was a physical benefit, and obviously did your head good, but it has a third benefit that was manifests, and uh it's it is that pride, which is a you know, pride itself is isn't a good thing, but it's a pride in oneself to say, Well, yeah, I I actually did it. And and if you're uh you know, um you do whatever you do every day, um, it's starting to work. Like in my case, blood pressure came down. I didn't have to take tablets. That was one of my biggest, you know, I got rid of tablets. And that probably in turn clears things in your head then as well. It allows you, it's it's it it enforces in you that yeah, you you the power of just thinking and the power of these actions. Uh so so if I can do that, I can do the next piece, and it it it reaffirms that um there should be no issue in it. But it's it's uh it's not coming all of a sudden, you've got to work at it, uh, and so on. So that yeah, that that's very much um something that's sounds so inane and simple, but it's uh it's actually quite it was quite powerful for me to say, Well, I have I have the capacity to do pretty much anything if if I want to.

SPEAKER_00

Well it's kind of giving yourself because you said you use the word beating yourself up, it's giving yourself permission to not beat yourself up anymore.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you're busy at the uh you're busy walking. Yeah. You get busy at the constructive stuff rather than you know, and it's not. Anyone with ambition uh is and everyone has ambition. It can it can it can every single person has ambition in some shape or form to be to be to do to what you know to have whatever it is. There's nobody any different, I believe, but uh uh everyone with ambition and a want will be disappointed. Yeah, because it doesn't come when you want it. A wise man I know he says uh um experiences is what you get when you don't get what you want. And and and and that's that's true and right. Uh there's sometimes you have enough experience, sometimes you just really just said time, time to get what I want, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Time to let it happen.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and that's where the frustration comes from.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and and that's and that frustration was probably you you kind of used the word you've moved from trying to allowing, because I I was trying to do stuff, I was trying to do this, I was trying to whatever, and now like the vocabulary has changed, and how we talk to each other obviously is very important. Uh because now you're saying I'm allowing this to happen, or I'm allowing that to happen.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think you're you're you've been a big influencer on on the word trying. I will and I might and tomorrow. And uh, you know, it's uh trying is is hasn't sunk in yet. So allowing yourself is is giving yourself um permission to do it, which which is a slight change, uh a slight change with a massive difference in in in the actual terms of implementing something, you know, it's in and and you can slip. You're allowed to slip. That allows is much more forgiving. You're allowed not to be rigid and and and not to be strict. Uh you're it's much uh allowing rather than trying is uh yeah, it turns it from a an opportunity from a struggle to an opportunity. The cycle we're in now, um, because of this, I think has allowed me to think different thoughts. And that's that's more and thoughts not necessarily um but and it's not the typical uh beat yourself up thoughts. If you there's a thing, it's not the overthinking. There's a target. You don't get the target equals disappointment. If you do get the target equals uh you're you're great. Uh it's not that anymore, it's it's it's um it's a different cycle of thoughts. You you you you start with a little tiny ladder with tiny steps, and and those steps are thoughts, and those steps are our initiative uh to put yourself in a frame of mind to say, well, you know, and and you've been very instrumental in allowing me to put myself into a situation where I've already achieved what I what I'm what I'm after, which creates a spirit around me and an energy around me that uh that uh that uh uh you know allows me to act as if that's what I already achieved, which tells the uh people I'm talking to that well this guy's not clearly uh capable. So it's it's it's it's you're emitting an entirely different energy by live by putting your head in that space. Yeah. That's which is is is effective, you know.

SPEAKER_00

What's one piece of advice you give to somebody right now who's carrying a lot of responsibility in business, in life, and maybe feeling that pressure more than enjoying it to actually enjoy it more?

SPEAKER_02

Well, if they're in business, I think they'll understand a couple of things about sequence and they'll understand a couple of things about how to get stuff done. They're they're in business because they can get stuff done, and they have a skill set already, they have a huge amount of power and skill set, thoughts, experience. Um what what this is about uh putting your taking the pressure off yourself is is it's all about um a sequence of of if you like a process and a sequence, and the first process is to let it go, decide and figure out what you can and you cannot uh control. The the things that bring you the most stress are the things that you can't control. You may have had a market that was responsive to a particular uh uh stimulus before it no longer is. Um that's that's gonna be a source of stress. Uh those changes in and uh so the first thing is you gotta do is let it go. The second thing you gotta do is really consider what you can control. The more homed mind, body, and soul are. Um and I I I I I'm far from I I regard myself as still on a journey here. It's I'm far from uh the other. Yeah, yeah, there's nobody, uh you know, it's a very difficult thing to do is to get those to get harmony in that regard. After that, uh you'll find um with with your capability to let stuff go and your focus on on thought, what'll happen is is is you'll find that these things should come to you, you know, that you should start to find it it easier.

SPEAKER_00

And your ambition is still there, but it's just the process of getting to the ambition is is changed.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you you you you should always have your ambition, you should always have a have a have a purpose and a goal. Yeah, you should re refine and reiterate that to yourself uh constantly. Yeah, and it changes. Uh your goals change as as your mindset changes, by the way. You know, your your your your your purpose changes sometimes. Um but it's you still need in this world, you still need to be commercially active, you still need a paycheck. This this world is yeah, you you still need to people around you, you cannot build anything on your own. You're you're gonna need a team, and that team you want them to be around you. And they want you want them to feel good around you, and that can only happen if you feel good around you yourself, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think on that note we'll leave it there, Barry. Thanks very much for the walk and talk. Thank you for listening to this week's episode. The wisdom here doesn't come from me, it actually comes through me from the men like you that I walk alongside. And if the conversation today landed and you would rather live it rather than just listen to it, I want to invite you to the grounded man hike. It's a day in nature with a small group of founders and leaders, men who carry a lot and want to carry it lighter, and there's no slides, it's your agenda, just honest conversation and open ground. The link is in the description below, leave your details, and I'll be back with you personally. Thanks for being here, and I'll see you next week.